Do you remember when you first got your driver’s license? I do. Flashback to 1977 at the Montoursville State Police Barracks while I whipped my parents’ 1973 AMC Ambassador station wagon with the third seat into the largest of three different-sized parking rectangles for the three-point turn. I was nervous and, in my mind, on repeat, was “do not hit the curb with the wheels, do not hit the curb with the wheels.” Success! I passed. I felt great relief, responsibility, and freedom. 

If you or one of your loved ones is at the other end of life, declining physical or mental abilities means that it is no longer appropriate for you to be driving, but it is hard to tell when that point has arrived. There are smart car features and monitoring systems that can assist you or older drivers in maintaining safety, but they cannot tell you when you are too old to drive. This is a highly individualized and emotional decision.  

“By 2030, there will be more than 70 million people age 65 and older, and approximately 85-90 percent of them will be licensed to drive. In fact, seniors are outliving their ability to drive safely by an average of 7-10 years and for the first time in history, we must plan for our ‘driving retirement’ just as we plan for our financial retirement.’” Senior Driver Safety & Mobility, AAA. 

How to Assess Driving Ability 

If you need to assess your driving ability or a loved one’s driving ability, Consumer Reports suggests you watch for these red flags: 

• Slow response times. 

• Inability to fully turn to check blind spots. 

• Running stop signs. 

• Motorists honk at them frequently. 

• A hesitation or reluctance to drive. 

• Cognitive dysfunction, such as getting lost or calling for help. 

• Repeat fender benders, dings, or paint scrapes on the car. 

The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation offers the following list of questions you could ask yourself or your parents: 

• Do you feel less comfortable driving now than you did five years ago? 

• Have you had more near-accidents in the last year or so? 

• Do intersections bother you because of all the cars and activity in several directions? 

• Is it harder to judge the distance and speed of cars when you merge into traffic? 

• Is night driving more difficult because of glare and blurred vision? 

A “yes” response to any of these questions suggests that a driver refresher course or a discussion with the older driver’s physician may be in order. 

There is much guidance available online. Drivers 65 Plus: Check Your Performance is a self-rating tool that is designed to help you examine whether you can continue driving safely. There are 15 questions to answer and a scoring system. After you finish the test, there are suggestions for improvement for all 15 questions.  For example, if you answered always or sometimes to the question, “I think I am slower than I used to be in reacting to dangerous driving situations,” you may take a refresher course that helps you adjust to age limitations, avoid driving in fast-moving traffic, when possible, etc.  

The Hartford recently updated We Need to Talk, a pamphlet regarding questions families need to ask about older drivers. AARP has a We Need to Talk Online Seminar to help assess you or your loved ones’ driving skills. 

What you can do if the Older Driver ignores your legitimate concerns 

What can you do if your Dad won’t respond to your concerns about his driving? 

Discuss the problem with the older driver’s health care provider. You can turn to your parents’ physician for help. Of course, this can be a messy issue for doctors who typically have no training in assessing driving safety. This is not something that can be treated with standard medical advice or a prescription. Any physicians are appropriately concerned about not violating patient privacy and maintaining the doctor-patient relationship. 

But a doctor can provide patient counseling that can carry a level of influence with the older patient that may far exceed that of the children. And a physician can check for medical problems like vision or medication issues. So, seeking the help of Dad’s doctor is wise. 

Be prepared for your loved one to be reluctant to discuss driving with his physician. He may fear that the doctor may report him to the licensing authority. (In Pennsylvania, doctors are supposed to report people diagnosed as having a condition that could impair the ability to drive. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has several videos about medical conditions that impact driving alone with other driving safety tips for older drivers. It is the Department of Transportation, not the doctor, which makes the ultimate decision on whether to impose license restrictions.) 

Here are some additional ideas for children who are struggling with this issue: 

Schedule a driving evaluation. Some communities offer Driver Evaluation and Training programs for older or disabled drivers. Under Pennsylvania law, you are entitled to at least a 5% discount on your car insurance is you are age 55 or older and successfully complete a Penn-DOT-approved Basic Mature Driver Improvement Course. Check with your local health system or your state licensing agency to find one near you.  

Avoid tricks. Experts tend to recommend against using tricks – like hiding keys or disabling Dad’s car. The direct and honest approach is best. Encourage your loved one to make the decision to reduce or quit driving. You will have to be persistent. Be aware that this is a huge loss of independence and may have consequences like the feeling of isolation, resentment, and bitterness. Be ready to help with alternative transportation options. 

Have the discussion with your elder law attorney. They can describe the legal consequences for the loved one’s estate of continuing to drive if there is a serious accident. 

As a last resort, family members and others can notify their state licensing agency of their concerns. Drivers identified through these letters may be asked to submit medical information. Write a detailed letter regarding your observations and the driver’s specific medical impairment(s). The letter must also include your name and contact information. For Pennsylvania drivers this letter can be mailed to:  Pennsylvania Department of Transportation, P.O. Box 68682, Harrisburg, PA 17106-8682. Reports submitted to PennDOT are confidential. If you’ve been reported, here is Staying Safe: What to Expect When Your Medical Condition Has Been Reported to PennDOT. 

The Future 

There are researchers at Florida Atlantic University who are testing an in-vehicle sensing system developed to sense early warnings of cognitive change. See In-Vehicle Sensors Help Detect Cognitive Changes in Older Drivers. 

Resources: 

We Need to Talk: Family conversations with older drivers. 

Smart Features for Older Drivers  

The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation offers a free booklet. 

Helping Older Drivers Stay Safe: A Guide for Family & Friends 

The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation also has a Safety page for Older Drivers.  

Taking the Keys Away: What to Do If a Senior Won’t Stop Driving 

“Physician’s Guide to Assessing and Counseling Older Drivers” 

U.S. News & World Report has a Best Cars for Older Drivers in 2025. 

DRIVER REFRESHER COURSES: 

The following agencies conduct state approved classroom training courses for mature drivers. There are no written or practical driving tests required. The course fees are moderate, but vary with each agency: 

 The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) Contact the AARP state office at 225 Market Street, Harrisburg, PA 17101; (717) 238-2277 or via the Web site at www.aarp.org. 

 American Automobile Association. Contact your local AAA office for availability or via the Web site at www.aaa.com. 

 Seniors for Safe Driving. Call 1-800-559-4880 or via the Web site at www.sfsd-pa.com for availability. 

[This is an update of an article that was originally published in December 2018 on the Marshall, Parker and Weber blog].