For years, my family would gather for a monthly visit at my parent’s home. The routine was well established. My father would take a seat at the kitchen table and welcome us all. Not long after, he would start a discussion about politics. In fact, any topic could have a political spin. Sports, religion, current events… nothing could escape the black hole of political discourse when we visited.
Some family members stayed in the kitchen to have the usual back and forth with him about those topics, hoping conversation would not disintegrate into angry rants. I avoided it all by finding my way to the living room, the television, and maybe an adult beverage (or 2). Eventually, we all reconvened for a meal and a pleasant non-political family talk.
These family gatherings have existed in our country for generations. Most of us have found ways to cope with the relative who fixates on politics. Today, many family members are choosing to cancel family relations over politics.
Since the recent elections, a trend has developed where relationships are severed due to the political party a family member has chosen to support. Instead of tolerating the differences of opinion over politics, families are halting communication with each other and cancelling family gatherings, including holiday events.
As a consequence of this trend, estate planners have seen an increase in clients who want to change their estate planning documents, such as their Last Will & Testament or Powers of Attorney, to remove the family member who has ended their relationship with the clients. It is often the case that a child is being removed as an executor in a Will or agent in a Power of Attorney. They may even be removed as a beneficiary.
How should you respond if this has happened in your family? Sound advice would dictate that you should not act too quickly to change your estate planning documents. Relationships evolve over time and hard feelings over an election and politics can be healed if both sides are willing to set aside political discussions at family events. Removing and then replacing family members from documents costs time and money. Changes should be made only when there appears to be a permanent rift.
Roles such as executors in a Last Will & Testament along with agents in Powers of Attorney are intended for people who will act in your best interest. Agents need to make healthcare decisions for you and manage your finances. Executors will need to settle your estate. If the family rift is not resolved, the estranged family member may not help you when you need them. Therefore, the documents should be changed to name people who are committed to help you.
A bigger question might be whether to remove a child as a beneficiary. While a Last Will & Testament can affect some of the assets that pass at death, others are distributed through beneficiary arrangements such as life insurance or retirement accounts. Consider whether you want to change all or some of these distributions. Changing a beneficiary for an asset such as life insurance is much easier than changing the terms of your Will.
Also consider skipping the child who has cut off relations and leaving their share to grandchildren. Grandchildren can benefit from an inheritance even if left in trust for them to be used over their lifetime or until they reach a certain age. A trustee can distribute money in the trust to them for various needs, like education and other expenses.
Regrettably, this trend in our culture to end relationships due to politics has caused many people to realize that their estate planning documents need to be updated. We can hope that this is only a passing trend and soon we will return to more civil discussions over politics.
