treatment is not
exactly the easiest topic to bring up over Family Dinner.
You may have tried to communicate your feelings in the past only to
be told that you are being morbid or that your loved one does not want to
think about such thoughts. As
hard as that conversation may be, your end-of-life directive really may
not mean anything until you have discussed your feelings with your family.
So, how can you make
that conversation happen?
Marshall
, Parker & Associates has made
available on its website the “Health Care Decision IQ Test for Family
and Physician” to promote better conversation and understanding
regarding end-of-life medical treatments.
Does that sound a little overwhelming?
Think of it this way – everyone enjoys those couple’s tests
that are printed in magazines with titles like “How Well Do You Know
Your Man” or “How to Tell if She’s Paying Attention to You”.
They are fun ways to spend a few minutes together and may be even
learn a little something unexpected about each other.
The Health Care Decision IQ Test works in much the same way.
Step 1 of the Test requires you to complete the Personal Medical
Preferences section, which consists of 10 questions designed to elicit
your personal preferences concerning end-of-life medical treatment.
Step 2 requires your Health Care Agent, or family member, friend,
or physician, anyone that you want to talk to about your philosophies, to
complete the Agent’s Understanding of Your Personal Medical
Preferences” section, which mirrors the section that was completed by
you. In Step 3, you and your
Agent compare your respective answers and score the results.
If you answer 10 out of 10 questions the same, then you are
communicating well, 8-9 questions correct means that you have good
communication, but still need to talk, 5-7 means that you definitely need
to talk more, and 5 or less questions answered the same indicates that you
and your Agent have a lot of talking to do.
Actually, the score is not the important factor.
The important aspect of this Test is that it will open up a
dialogue between you and your Agent allowing you to discuss these
difficult topics.
My husband, Mark, and I provide an excellent example of how useful this
tool can be for promoting end-of-life discussions.
I am always talking to Mark about what I would and would not want
in the way of medical intervention if I were terminally ill or permanently
unconscious. Mark, on the
other hand, hates to talk about such issues.
He did, however, agree to take the Health Care Decision IQ Test
with me one morning over breakfast. We
scored only a 5 when we took the test with Mark as my Agent and an 8 when
I was Mark’s Agent. The
scores were certainly eye-opening, but most importantly, we actually sat
for over an hour talking about our philosophies concerning end-of-life
medical treatments. This was
truly amazing, because prior to this, I could not get my husband to listen
to me about my feelings concerning end-of-life issues for more than 5
minutes and he never expressed his feelings about the issue.
I feel confident now that I fully understand Mark’s desires and
that, if I am ever in the situation where I have to make end-of-life
decisions on Mark’s behalf, that I will be able to truly honor his
wishes. I feel that Mark will
now be able to do the same for me. The
Health Care Decision IQ Test made the conversation that we know we had to
have, but always avoided, much easier.
My husband even suggested that we take the Test again in the future
to make sure that our feelings have not changed.
I encourage all of you
to sign a Health Care Directive that contains your end-of-life philosophy
and to talk to your Agent and loved ones about your wishes.
The Health Care Decision IQ Test can help you to get that
conversation started. In the
end, your Agent will be relieved that he/she fully understands your
desires concerning end-of-life medical intervention, especially if called
upon to make end-of-life decisions on your behalf.
Instead of the guilt and indecision often associated with
end-of-life decision making on behalf of another person, the conversation
that you have will provide your Agent with the peace of mind that comes
from knowing that he/she was able to truly be your voice and ensure that
your wishes were upheld. For your own copy of the quiz, download it from
our website. Health
Care Decision IQ Test
Attorney Colbert can be contacted
at webmail@paelderlaw.com
or at 1-800-401-4552
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